My sunshine
by Sayie
Summary: This is a sequel to Revival. Dawn and Spike are together and things seem perfect... but are they?
1. Light

I don't own Spike, Dawn, yadda dada da... But I loooove Spike!

Sequel to "Revival". Please review so that I know you're reading it ).

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"Strange, really. When I lived with Buffy I felt like I was a part of her. Now that I'm with Spike I am like a part of him, a little bit of him. 

Now I feel … whole. Accepted. Needed. Not yet loved, but that'd come, I'm certain. Spike thinks the crypt's a bit of a bad influence. He thinks I suffer from the lack of sunlight. I tell him he's being silly, but I do miss it sometimes. The 'normal' teenage life. I miss having a mom and a sister. I've lost everything even remotely 'normal' in my life after I found out I was the key. I feel fake sometimes, when Spike's not there to hold me as thoughts and memories overwhelm me. I'm not sure where I really belong. I'm not sure of anything anymore. The things I thought real were false memories. Is this real?

I've often wondered why he smokes so much. But then why shouldn't he? It's not _hazardous_ to his health. He once told me smoking makes him feel more_ human_. I guess the same goes for drinking. And it gives him a sort of 'human' smell.

He misses it, I think. Being human. I've sometimes wondered if that's a part of what attracts him to me. My heart, my life, my soul. If I were to lose these… would he still want me? I wish he wasn't so distant though. Me living creates a gap between us. He doesn't tell me so many things.

Funny when I was with Buffy, I hated being a bit of her. Now I welcome being a bit of Spike. I always thought I needed to be my own person to feel content. I finally know now that that wasn't what I really wanted. Spike accepts me, he wants us to be as one single person while Buffy always…_always_ tried to push me away. She never saw me as me… The knowledge hurts me so much."

Dawn continued to write on and on. Things she couldn't tell anyone… not to Spike 'cause they were about him. And not to anyone else because there wasn't_ anyone__else_. Not that she was particularly lonely. He was so much more than enough. She couldn't even imagine breathing without him. Still... she was fifteen and needed a family, even as she was growing up so fast. But she was happy.

* * *

It was around midnight; the walls of the crypt were still warm form the summer day heat. Dawn wore a black denim short skirt and a vanilla-colored top, her hair curled. It was a special occasion: exactly one month since they were together. She smiled, thinking over the happy month: dancing, kissing, talking. She bit on her lip worrying if he'd forgotten. After all one month wasn't that big a deal for more than a 100 year old vampire, was it?

As Spike neared the crypt, he thought over what he wanted to tell her. That he needed her, wanted her, _loved her, _more that anything. That he wanted to give her the world as he'd traveled it. Wait, rephrase that. Maybe not _exactly_ as he'd traveled it…but still. He lit a cigarette out of habit and then threw it away thinking he'd probably have to stop smoking since it could hardly do any good to Dawn. Then he thought over all his bad habits and how he'd probably have to change them for her good. As the list exceeded 15 without the facts that he was much much older, evil and a vampire, he felt dizzy... and uncertain. He stopped in front of the crypt; a familiar thought "if I left, Dawn'd be probably better off on her own" danced around his mind. He pushed it aside and finally entered the crypt.

As he saw her, he felt that even his undead heart must have moved at the sight of her.

"You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy…", he sang, smiling. Dawn heard him, a big smile over her face, as she came towards him, and put her arms around his neck. They looked in each others eyes as they sang on.

"When skies are grey

You'll never know dear

How much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away"

"One month, love."

"I thought you might've forgotten…" she looked down.

Spike touched her chin, lifting her head up.

"Don't be a half-wit," he said it with so much love… as he kissed her softly.

"You know, bit, we could go out for a walk… the night's young," he winked.

"Sure." Dawn went over to take her jacket, her heart thumping in her chest. God, how she loved that man.

* * *

Please review. I have ideas for the next chapters. Cheers. 


	2. Air

I don't own Spike, Dawn, yadda dada da... But I loooove Spike!

Please review so that I know you're reading it.

* * *

Spike held Dawn's hand as they left the cemetery. 

"Spike… uh, where are we going?" Dawn asked with hope for a fantastic evening.

"You'll see, lov. I just gotta find a … here." He said, letting go of her hand.

He approached a BMW 3er Cabrio with the roof still on. Dawn observed him as he took out a thin metal-rod-like-thingy out of his coat, passed it through the space between the door and the window and swiftly unlocked the door. Dawn's heart quickened as she held her breath, waiting for the alarm to wail. Spike quickly stopped the annoying sound and sat up, looking around for anyone suspicious. Then he nodded at her to come.

"The best ride for my kitten, " he said as he kissed her cheek, his arm protectively around her. He started the car, a moan escaping his lips at the pleasing sound of the motor. He drove for a few blocks. Dawn hadn't said a word for some time now. Had he done something wrong? He glanced sideways at her.

"'Lil bit, are you… mm angry at me?"

"_Angry?!?_"she said bewildered.

And then the strangest thing happened. As Spike was preparing himself for a lecture, Dawn burst out laughing.

"Why one earth would I be angry? Spike… I steel all the time. Hell, you know that better than anyone," she chuckled. Noticing his puzzled look she tried to explain.

"I was just thinking that that was the best ride I'd ever be in... probably. And also… that we are so similar. I can't see Buffy waiting for you to steal her a car… "

Neither of them talked for a while. They hadn't said Buffy's name in a while. Then Spike thought it was time for them to start to move on.

"Nah, she'd probably tell me that chip should've been programmed against stealing as well," he even managed a half-laugh.

Dawn smiled at his attempt to break the ice Buffy's name always created. Strange, considering Buffy's fiery attitude. She wouldn't like it... people being awkward when they thought of her.

"So where are we going?" There were so many trees...

"Here," he smiled as he pulled over. He went to open the door for Dawn. He offered her his hand and closed the door behind her. After some time they reached a... lake.

"I didn't know there was a lake here! Spike, it's lovely!" She looked awe-struck at the moonlight lake, the shimmering stars, and the towering trees. It was like a painted picture.

"I just thought a breath of fresh air'd do you good, lov." He encircled her waist from behind and nibbled here ear. Her laughter was probably the best thing he'd ever heard in his entire life.

They stayed like that for some time. Then Dawn turned towards Spike and asked him the one question that had been bothering her for ages.

"Spike, why don't you ever... bite me? I mean you must've thought about it. I thought it was one of the surest signs of intimacy for a vamp." She looked uncomfortable asking him to do that... what about atmosphere and all that bull?

"It's just..." He looked away; then took a deep breath."I've thought about it but ... it'd be like going to another... stage. I just didn't want to mm corrupt you." He said the last part in such a low voice that Dawn wondered if she'd heard correctly.

"How can you think so low of yourself, Spike? I'm here, with you, because I love you. Because... "

"Because there's no one else, pet? " He interepted her with a small smile as he thought he'd figured it out.

"No, because there's no one else for_ me_. I don't want anyone else. Spike, I thought you knew that."

Dawn felt so disapointed that she walked away. It must have been her fault: not managing to show her feelings well. She went back to the car, sat on the backseat of the car, and felt sorry for the ruined evening. She never should've asked that stupid question.

Just as she thought that Spike must've drowned in the lake, he opened the door and sat beside her.

"You did say one thing I hadn't guessed 'till now. I must be the daftest bloke on the planet. " His usual smirk was back on.

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"You said you loved me, if I'd heard correctly. Well, guess what, pet, I love you too." He kissed her. Dawn thought this must've been the best kiss she'd ever had. The excitment from his words combined with Spike's desire to show her he meant it. He trailed down from her lips across her cheekbone and down her throat. He nibbled where he felt the blood flow. He hadn't allowed himself to think about her that way but now he felt intoxicated.

"Do you still want it, love?" His eyes dark with the demonic desire.

"More than anything." Spike heard her hearbeat and felt the heat crawling across her body, radiating. _"I hadn't thought she wanted me so much... I'm going to make it worth it."_

He again started from her lips gently at first then passionatly. He suckled at her bottom lip with normal teeth and bit slightly with fangs as an "overture". She moaned and he took it as a good sign. He licked a drop of blood from where he'd bitten her lightly and it inflamed him. He couldn't control it any longer so he passed a few chaste kisses down her neck until he found the right spot. He massaged it with his tongue to get the blood going. Then with one last kiss he vamped and sunk his fangs in. Dawn gasped and held tighter to him, not aware that she moved in a way that allowed her blood to flow easier for him. He noticed it as a clear sign she enjoyed it. But he quickly reminded himself this was "_a short-duration pleasure, but aren't all_"? This lovely girl... _woman_ he corrected himself gave him her heart and her blood. "_Is there a more precious creature ever_?" He thought as he pulled carefully away. He looked at Dawn to see her reaction. Was she too pale? Dawn lazily opened her eyes. Her body felt all tingly and relaxed. "That was amazing," she said satisfied. It was everything she thought it'd be and more. She yawned, streched like a cat, then layed her head in his lap. Spike sat a bit more comfortably and prepared himself for a short nap.

"Good night, baby," he whispered.

"Mmmm, " was Dawn's only answer. Soon she was fast asleep, happier than ever.

* * *

Wellit was going to happen sooner or later. Next chapter might take a while 'cause I'm busy with school work and all. Just thought I'de keep the interest up. Please please review!!! It means soo much to me. 


	3. Fire

Yeah, I know I said the next chappie has to wait but hey, inspiration doesn't care if I'm busy... sighs

Joss's the ultimate owner of everything that matters. LOL... I don't own anything. How sad. runs away to joing Spike

Some parts are for your imagination to finish ;).

* * *

Dawn woke up suddenly. 

"Spike… shit, Spike!" The sun was pretty close to rising.

Spike groaned and opened his eyes.

"Soddin' Hell!" he grumbled as he jumped to the back seat and started the engine. He raced down the street and passed a 40 min ride for 20. He left the car two blocks away from the house.

"Join me for a run, will you, pet?" he smiled as he opened the door and they both ran like crazy to the house. Dawn's hands were trembling as she tried to unlock the door. Finally, she managed and they both collapsed on the ground once in.

"Remind me never to do that again…" Dawn sighed, holding on to Spike. "For a minute there I thought we were going to be a bit too late."

"Nah, I had a blanket prepared just in case. I just liked the drama of the run," Spike smirked as Dawn slapped him on the shoulder. He looked down at her and for a hundredth time thought how beautiful she was.

"_Even know I hold my breath when he looks at me like that," _thought Dawn.

He touched her neck, making circles with his thumb where he'd bit her last night. She could tell he was proud with the mark. She was finally his girl. Or maybe there was even more she could give him? She brought his face down to hers and closed her lips on his. Spike was so surprised he forgot to close his eyes. But soon their tongues battled in passion as Spike passed his hands down Dawn's body. He encircled her waist and then lifted her in his hands. Dawn let out small cry of surprise and laughed and so did Spike. He nibbled at her neck and laid her on the couch. He slowly moved on top of her body, supporting his weight as he tried not to crush her. They had been spending countless hours kissing on this same sofa but this time it felt different. He'd always wanted more but he'd felt she wasn't ready. Now, she was looking at him differently, boldly. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head, and threw it on the ground. Then she passed her hands slowly down his back, exploring. Her look of curiosity was precious to Spike. No one had ever wanted to know him so completely as she did. Maybe Dru but… no, she was never capable of such honest bewilderment. She was more lustful. Soon Dawn's touch stopped his trail of thoughts as he pulled her own black top over her head. He started kissing his way down her body, stopping to lick a line along her collar bone. Dawn arched at his touch, encouraging him to continue.

* * *

They'd spent a few hours of lazy exploration. _"Are you sure you want this?" _Spike had asked._"I've never been more certain in my life,"_she'd answered and it was true. Everything with Spike felt so right. She was so lucky to find where she belonged. Spike was playing with a strand of her hair. He thought she was asleep but then she turned her face up at him and smiled. 

"I love you," she whispered softly.

"I love you too," he smiled and kissed her forehead.

She laid her head back down on his chest and fell asleep as his arms held her protectively.

* * *

"Xander, Dawn's a big girl! We could go back home _first_ before we check in on her. You _promised_ we'd have lots of sex when we get back to Sunnydale. I wouldn't have agreed to this stupid trip otherwise. " Anya pouted. 

"I know, baby. But I never realized we'd left Dawn completely alone with stalker-monkey. I just have the feeling that something's… wrong."

Anya opened the door to the Summers' home and she stopped dead in her tracks. She turned back and pushed Xander out of the hallway, saying: "No one there. We can go home now."

"What do you mean no one's there. We haven't even entered the house." Xander asked as he tried to battle Anya.

"I just did. I'm telling you: nothing to see."

Xander pushed beside Anya and entered the hallway. He looked around and saw Dawn and Spike. On the couch. Naked. (With a brown blanket but still.)

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!?" Xander yelled as he approached the sleeping couple. Spike and Dawn both woke up. Dawn gasped and pulled the blanket up to hide her breasts.

"What does it look like, monkey boy?" Spike drawled one eyebrow up high.

"What … you couldn't shag Buffy so you started doing the dirty with Dawnie?!"

"Don't. Just … don't," whispered Dawn.

"Bullocks! You should know I … I love her." Spike tried a less … violent approach, because of Dawn.

"Don't you start with the 'love' speech. We all know what sick feelings you call love. You're just trying to live your little obsession. Well, guess what, I'm not letting you. Dawn, get up. I mean I'll turn around 'till you dress up. And then me and the sick fella'll have a little talk."

Xander turned around. Dawn put her clothes on, passing Spike his jeans and shirt. But her obedience ended there.

"Xander, get out!" She said with such strength in her voice that Xander almost jumped.

"Wh-What?"

"You heard me. This is my house. I'm telling you to leave."

"Dawnie, he's just trying to use you. You don't lo-"

"_Don't _'Dawnie' me. _Don't_ tell me what I feel or don't feel. You _weren't _here." She accused him. "You _ran__ away_ because you couldn't deal with all the problems. You left me. You_ all_ left me. How dare you barge in my life again like that. You're trying to destroy everything I've pieced up together. You have no idea how difficult it was for me."

"I'm just saying-'

"Honestly, I don't care. I know what you're going to say and I don't wanna to hear it." Dawn shook her head. "Just get out."

"But-"

"You heard the woman, monkey-boy." Spike smiled.

Dawn gave him an accusatory look. He was so not helping.

Xander stomped out of the room and banged the door behind him.

Anya'd been standing quietly 'till now.

"Now look what you did," she looked accusingly at Dawn. "Now we wont have _any_ sex! And he _promised_!"

"ANYA! Are you coming?" Xander yelled from the yard.

"See what I mean?" Anya gave a knowing nod, spun on her heels, and went outside.

When they left, Dawn set on the couch beside Spike and let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Then she looked at him and they both laughed until tears came out of their eyes.

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Well, I liked writing that chapter. Tell me what you think. I love reviews ). 


	4. Blood

Yeiii, new chappie! Please review!!!

* * *

"And you know what bothers me the most? Spike?!? Of all people. It's my little Dawnie we're talking about."

"But it isn't our business, Xander. If she wants to be with Spike… well, I honestly don't see the problem. You shouldn't have interfered. I don't see how this will help. " Anya said frustrated, while she sat on the floor, ordering bills of money in small towers by value.

* * *

Dawn never would've guessed she'd watch Passions with Spike and enjoy it. The price was a massage. She sat on the ground while Spike's hands passed down all the right muscles. He enjoyed the way tension slipped away from her body when he touched her. 

"How does it feel, kitten?" He whispered in her ear.

"Mmm."

Spike laughed

"Hey, don't get distracted, mister! This is going to take a loooong time." Dawn smiled.

Spike looked at her, one eyebrow cocked high.

"As long as Passions is on. And not a second less!" she said. It was so nice to have such control over him.

Just as she thought that, Spike lifted her up and pinned her down the couch. He held her hands tightly and snickered in her face.

"Now what will you do, 'lil bit?"

"Well…" Dawn smiled lazily and kissed him lightly.

"Hey, that's unfair, love. I wasn't ready for that one."

Spike took the initiative and kissed her deeply.

"We should so buy a bigger couch." Dawn laughed.

"There's always the bed, love." Spike smirked.

"_Nah, that'd mean moving…", _thought Dawn and smiled.

Spike nibbled lightly at her neck, still holding her hands. He looked at her and said, "There's something I want to give you."

Dawn looked up at him confused. "_What else is there that he can give me?_"

Spike cleared his throat. "Sometimes a vampire becomes … attached to a female and he wants to bond with her."

"Bond?"

"That's the closest you can be to anyone." And there was nothing Dawn wanted more. Dawn nodded.

Spike smiled one of those rare flashing smiles that made Dawn so happy as he vamped and bit into her neck. Her blood was so intoxicating. One reason he'd felt hesitant of drinking from her was that he was afraid he'd taste the slayer's power in her. And it _was _there. But there was so much more than that. Thre was his Dawn and he'd never confuse them.

After some time he bit down on his own wrist and offered her some of his blood. She took a few sips.

"Now what?"

"Now nothing can take us apart."

"Promise?"

"I promise, pet." Spike kissed her forehead.

Dawn didn't feel any different, when she thought about it. But Spike's kisses trailed down her face and it distracted her.

* * *

Dawn woke up and stretched. Somehow they'd ended up in bed, just as Spike wanted. It was morning and time for her jogging. She put on her sports outfit, bent down to kiss Spike goodbye, and left the house. Not that she needed to run but Spike was right. She was either in the crypt or closed up in the house with him. She needed some air and exercise. Minutes after she left, the front door flew open. A girl floated to the bedroom and with a gesture threw Spike at the wall. 

"Red?!" Spike gasped.

"Not red anymore. Dark brown they call it," smiled Willow. Her eyes were black with magic and the air around her sizzled.

"What the bloody hell are you doing to me, you daft bint?" Spike growled as pain stabbed him across his body.

"Heard you played some tricks on little Dawn and decided to drop by." Another stab slashed across Spike's chest.

Bruises and cuts were beginning to form at his body.

* * *

Dawn was running, a cheerful tune from her mp3 player. Just as she'd made one turn around the park's grounds, pain slashed across her body, bringing her to her knees. "_What the bloody hell are you doing to me, you daft bint?"_ She heard Spike yell in her mind. "_ Is he doing this? Or is something bad happ--_" Another wave of pain slashed through her and Willow's image flashed clearly. 

"Willow!" Dawn said running to the house.

When she arrived she saw the open door and she heard Spike scream somewhere above her. She took two steps at a time and entered the bedroom. She saw Spike cut and bleeding above her on one of the walls. Tears formed in her eyes, while she could feel his pain stabbing her own body. But the tears weren't for her own pain.

"Stop! You're hurting him," she yelled, reaching to grab Willow's shoulder. The witch turned to face Dawn.

"But I'm doing this for your own good, Dawnie," she said as a stake approached Spike's chest.

* * *

Well, I decided to add a bit of a twist here for suspension. (wicked grin) If you wanna know what happens you have to review! ) 


	5. Magic

I don't own Spike, Dawn, yadda dada da. Review, please.

* * *

"Stop! You're hurting him," she yelled, reaching to grab Willow's shoulder. The witch turned to face Dawn.

"But I'm doing this for your own good, Dawnie," she said as a stake approached Spike's chest.

"Would everyone just stop trying to do what's best for me?!" Dawn cried, her eyes closed.

Suddenly she felt all tingly and warm as a beam of energy passed from Willow's body to hers. She felt a large fuzzy ball form in her hands and she sent it at the stake hovering at Spike's chest. The piece of wood burst into flames. Willow felt dizzy.

"What did you do to me?"

"I … I didn't do anything. I think… did I?"

Willow stumbled to the couch and sat there, breathing heavily.

"Something feels wrong with me," she whispered as her eyes faded back to green. It took some time for her hair to reach its normal color.

"Dawnie… what did I? Did I do anything bad 'cause if I did… Ohhh, I just hope I didn't do anything bad…" she rambled on.

"Well… uh, no. You didn't actually _do_ anything bad. You … just tried to kill the man I love very much."

Willow looked at her confused.

"Spike, Willow."

"Ohh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I really am. I didn't know, really. I had a call form Xander, you see. But it can't be that he lied to me. He'd never do that. He told me Spike …uh, forced you to …you know. Do _it_ with him and I sort of flipped. 'Cause if he really'd done that. You know how much I love you, Dawnie. I simply thought of doing something very very bad to him and somehow ended up in front of your house. I think you know it from there. Goddess, I'm so sorry, honey. He didn't actually do anything _bad_ to you, did he? 'cause I could still--"

"No," Dawn interrupted, "he hasn't done anything but good stuff to me. Promise."

Willow swayed a bit.

"Hey, I think you should rest. Why don't you go upstairs and take a nap … or something."

"Yeah, uh that sounds like a good idea."

When Willow left, Dawn went to Spike who was lying on the ground from the moment Willow's powers faded.

"Hey, how are you holding up?"

"Simply peaches, pet."

Dawn tried to help lift Spike up but he was too heavy.

"Just fine where I am, kitten," he tried to snicker.

Dawn sat down beside him, back against the wall and her hand on his shoulder. She soon doze off.

* * *

Spike woke up prepared for suffocating pain but there was … _nothing_. He even moved his shirt up to check for bruises or cuts but his body was completely healed, _impossibly quickly healed._

"Dawn, wake up, pet." He kneeled down beside her. She opened her eyes and was as bewildered as he was. Her own bruises had also healed.

"But… how?"

"I'd reckon… it was _you_, pet." He nodded at her questioning look. "That bonding we did must've triggered some key-thingy-powers in you. Thank you," he said, kissing her cheek.

He then stood up and before she knew it went through the door.

"Spike! Where are you going?!" Dawn yelled, trying to catch up with him.

"I'm sorry, bit. But… I can't do this anymore. I'm just not right for you."

"I don't understand. What… what do you mean?"

"I'm leaving … for some time. I'm sorry, pet. I need to clear my mind up."

Tears started forming in Dawn's eyes.

"Is it me? Have-- have I done something. I mean it must be my fault"

"No. No, Dawn! It has nothing to do with you. It's me…I need to sort some things with my self. I'm sorry but I have to leave."

He let go of her arms and was just about to go but he changed his mind and went back for a farewell kiss.

It didn't do any good, though. He still left.

* * *

Just love the suspension. More reviews and I promise you'll know why he left exactly. There's a pretty good reason for that one. Cheers. 


	6. Revenge

Trust me, there's a pretty good reason why Spike left. Just aquick note: in this version Angel is already a CO of Wolfram and Hart.

* * *

"_I won't bloody turn her into a monster. Giving her eternity with me would mean taking all that matters away from her and I won't let that happen."_

* * *

Dawn felt broken. Completely lost. She couldn't think while she closed the door or when she sat on the sofa. Things had happened to rapidly for to register. She tried to think clearly.

"_First things first. Willow came to kill Spike because Xander told her he'd … raped me?! Then I saved __**and**__ healed him with some new weird powers."_

She tried to move a book with her gaze but it stayed stubbornly in place.

"_And then ... he left me,_" she felt dizzy.

She didn't need the bond to know he was holding back something but she was too tired to concentrate on the exact thing he was hiding from her. She tried to figure it out but when her head started to ache in confusion she decided a good night's sleep might help. She took a quick shower, already missing Spike. Then she went to bed and curled with the blanket pulled way over her head because she still missed him. She slowly doze off into a trouble sleep. Faces and voices mingled in her mind until she could hardly tell who she was. She was driving in a car, listening to some weird rock tune and tapping on the wheel with the rhythm. Her gaze wavered over the road pass two dice hanging from the mirror. She missed… Dawn. Wait, she missed herself?! Dawn woke up, her forehead sweaty. That was definitely Spike that was driving. And he missed her. That was a good thing. Whatever made him leave must've been that "_Dawn'd be better off on her own,_" thought he always had. He was driving, but where was he going?

* * *

"Hello, this is Harmony, Angel's secretary. I mean secretary of the CO for Wolfram and Harts' LA office."

"Hi… is Angel there? I sorta need to talk to him about somethin'," said Dawn nervously.

"Well, he's sorta busy with the Cazaa De--- Would you like me to pass a message?"

"Yeah, could you tell him Dawn wants him to call her as soon as he can?"

"Yeah, sure thing. Hey! You're Buffy's sister! How is the old slayer girl doing?"

"_Dead…",_Dawn thought.

"Uhm, I gotta go now. You won't forget the message will you?"

""Nah, I already sent him an e-mail. Oh, wait I must've sent it to Gun, by mistake. Don't worry, I'll sent right off."

"Yeah, ok, bye," Dawn hung up, hoping that some law of the universe could explain why on earth Harmony of all people was Angel's secretary.

"_Now I have some work to do,_" she thought.

* * *

She went to Xander and Anya's place, not even bothering to call first. Anya opened the door to her brisk knocking, a big smile on her face.

"Hey, Dawn! You can't imagine what we just--"

She quickly shut up, seeing Dawn's darkened face.

"Uh… do you want some cookies? Xander's mom sent some and they're really--"

"Did you know?"

Anya stepped from foot to foot, looking away.

"Did you?"

"I tried to stop him, okay? I thought Willow won't believe him. I mean with all the chemistry between you guys."

"Where is he," Dawn hissed through gritted teeth.

Anya sensed trouble so she put her hands on her hips and tried to look as threatening as possible.

"Xander's not here. You can leave now."

Just as she'd said that Xander came out of the bedroom, his shirt open. When he saw Dawn he quickly buttoned it up. Both Anya and Dawn rolled their eyes.

"So, Dawnster, what brings you here?"

"Oh, nothing much. Revenge, mostly," said Dawn brightly. But the smile hardly reached her eyes.

Xander's face paled. "Now, Dawnie," he started.

God, how angry he made her. She closed her eyes in frustration. Suddenly Anya gasped as a large read ball of energy left her body, landing in Dawn's hands. Anya fainted and Dawn finally realized that she could manipulate others' energy.

"Wh--What did you do to her? I'm warning you, I..."

Dawn looked at the large ball in her hands and at the weak men who tried to destroy her Spike.

"Why?"

"Dawn, I'm sorry….I… I just care for you, you know that. And Spike…"

"Oh, don't give me the care speech," she mocked him, "You lost Buffy. She's gone and I'm the only part of her left. You couldn't bare the fact that I rejected you in choosing Spike. What? You thought I'd have a crush on you forever, did you?"

Xander opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

Dawn sent the ball… and it exploded, making a large hole in the wall behind the terrified Xander.

"You are pathetic," she said, leaving.

* * *

She cam home, sitting slowly on the couch; the thought she was really alone hit her painfully. Suddenly the phone rang and it was Angel.

"Dawn, I've been calling for some time now and I got worried. What's wrong? Are you ok?'

"Yeah, Angel I'm… good."

"Harmony said it was urgent and I got worried. What is it?"

"Mmm nothing much." She took a deep breath. "Look, Angel, Spike's gone and I need to know where he is."

"Why on earth would you care where he's off to?"

"Well, we are sorta … we're together."

"Spike… Dawn?" Angel caught his head in confusion.

"Angel I love him and I'm sure he loves me. I know this comes as a shock to you but he must've left for a pretty good reason. I need to know what it is."

"I'll do what I can."

"Angel! When you find him, promise me you won't _hurt_ him or anything."

Angel groaned.

"But… alright… I'll try not to stake him."

"Thanks a lot, Angel."

Dawn sighed. That was difficult. She turned on the TV, and guess what. Passions was on. She went to the kitchen for a bag of chips and curled on the sofa watching one of the most boring soap operas she'd ever seen. God, how low could she go? She must've dozed off because she woke up when the phone rang.

"Dawn Summers," she said, her voice husky with sleep.

"Hey, Dawn, it's me."

"Yeah, Angel, did you find anything at all."

"Yeah… I don't know how to say this…"

"Is something wrong? Is he okay?" Dawn felt frantic.

"He's fine, I guess. But he's pretty much gone from the States."

"What does this mean?"

"He went to Africa. He went to get his soul back."

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Told ya, he had a pretty good reason, didn't I. ;) Review, review, review. I'm a selfish person, what can I say. Cheers. 


	7. Starting over

I'm sorry it took me so long to start again. I've been busy with SATs and what not. I've wrote a short complete story on Spike/Dawn. Feel free to check it out. I'll finish this one soon. Thanks for your patience )

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It took Dawn some time to get used to the idea. She couldn't do anything else. After all Spike was of to somewhere in Africa trying to get a soul: something she _never_ wanted from him. All she wanted was _him_, right beside her; nothing more and nothing less.

She felt somewhat betrayed even though she knew he was doing all this for her. But somewhere inside she couldn't forgive him for leaving her and just now when she was getting better at the no Buffy and no mom stuff. She couldn't live in the same house anymore. She put it up for rent.

"_What now_," she thought, "_I can't go to college. I can't go to my Dad. I sure as hell don't want to go to Angel's or Xander's. _"

Just then she thought she wanted some music and the stereo turned on. She jumped.

"Damn, I need to learn how to control this," she muttered. And the thought hit her. Well, where else could she go but with Willow and Tara. Yeah, they were just back together, but surely they can't throw her away. After all, it was partly Willow's fault, right?

So she packed her things and went straight to their place: no call, no e-mail. She didn't want to bother with such things in case they told her no. It was much more difficult to reject someone in person. So she got on the bus and then on another bus and so on until she reached California. She finally found the house after some hard work. She didn't bother with the door bell, after all Willow entered her home in the same manner.

"Who…" Tara started, "aw Dawnie it's you! Honey, how I've missed you!"

Tara got up from the sofa and gave her a hug.

Willow came in then and said: "Well, what a sudden surprise. We weren't expecting you. Not that we aren't glad to see you 'cause we are but if you send a message I didn't receive it and …"

"Don't worry, Willow. I didn't send a message or anything."

"Then is something wrong? I mean fro you to leave so suddenly," Tara interfered.

"Well, Spike left me to get his soul back and I got these really wicked powers I can't get the hand of. So yeah I think there's a lot wrong, I guess."

"Oh, sweetie," Willow looked so sad. "He's doing this for your sake, you know. And I bet he'll be back soon."

"Dawnie, you said something about," Tara swallowed, "powers? What exactly did you mean by that?"

Dawn flicked the TV off and the lights on with her thoughts.

"Oh, maybe it's telekinesis," offered Willow.

"No," Dawn shook her head, "remember how I stopped you from killing Spike? I took your energy away."

"Oh...energy control. That's really difficult to manage, though,." sighed Willow, "it's the most difficult and basic material."

"Wait, what? You tried to kill Spike? Willow, you never told me any such thing. Didn't you say no secrets?" Tara cried angrily.

"But Tara, I was black Willow then! I didn't know what I was doing."

"Well, you could've at least told me," Tara left the room in a hurry.

Willow gave Dawn and imploring look that seemed to say several things between "see what you did" and "stay there."

Dawn sighed. The last thing she needed to do was brew more trouble. "_It's all Spike's fault,_" she thought bitterly. "_He shouldn't have left me."_

Deep inside she knew she was wrong but she felt lonely and she badly needed someone to help her with all this. Anyone.

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Again I hope you'll be patient. In the mean time check out "Let's talk about art." It's another Spike/ Dawn fanfic.

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